Action tips for dealing with an office bully

peer pressure

Should we follow our bosses on social media? I do (on two platforms, out of commitment I think) and feel compelled to “like” all their posts. It’s exhausting.

Anonymous, Toronto

You are under no obligation to follow your boss on social media. Your boss is not your friend. Now, some of us are following fellow professionals on social media for a host of reasons. If you work in social media, for example, it may be necessary or beneficial to follow the people you work with. Other times, you may be interested in the personal life of a co-worker or you may be a friend or even friends.

However, when following a boss, there is a major imbalance of force and an extra layer of pressure to interact with the content. As you may have noticed, this kind of thing is stressful. It’s more work and few people are looking for more work. You also have to worry about following your boss on social media, perhaps knowing more about your personal life than is ideal. Boundaries start to blur and can get messy, depending on how you approach social media. Be kind to your boss and never think about him again.

Desire to be a better guide

Every few years, I choose to be part of a career guidance program. Programs vary, but the general structure tends to be identical to people with an expectation to meet regularly over several months. Mentoring can be great, and as a concept, it’s powerful and important.

I dread saying this, but I’ve never felt like giving away or getting so much from these structured programs – either as a trainee or as a mentor. But I have found informal mentoring to be very useful and rewarding. help! What makes good mentoring relationships?

– Anonymous

A formal mentorship experience is only as successful as the people involved and the design of the program. Good mentoring relationships are active, reciprocal and always moving forward. I’ve found that structured mentoring experiences work best. In those trials, there are clearly defined goals and outcomes. There are systems in place to establish accountability, and there is flexibility to allow the mentoring relationship to evolve based on the needs of the trainee and the mentor’s experience. It is useful when there is a clearly defined time frame and the possibility of continuing informal mentoring after the program has ended.

It is also important that both parties want to participate. All too often, professionals are pushed into mentoring experiences without being given the opportunity to make any contribution, without even being asked if they want mentoring. If, for whatever reason, someone isn’t interested in routing, even the most beautifully designed program will fail.

It may be time to take a break from formal guidance. Or maybe you can provide some feedback about what works and what doesn’t in the current program. The real question here is why not give or get great value from these programs? And what, if anything, can be done to address your concerns? I wish you luck in finding more satisfying formal mentoring experiences. Your interest enough in asking this question makes me know you’ll find out.